Need the surgery - where to start?

[dandandan]

Hi. I'm a 26-year-old man with avoidant personality disorder. It's kind of hard to explain, but it basically means that I avoid... well, everything, because I've got this overwhelming fear of rejection. I look at myself and I see a lot of things that I want to change. It's not body dysmorphia. The flaws are really there, and I'm not blowing them out of proportion - it's just that I can't accept them.

I've been in counselling (weekly) for over a year now and I just don't feel any better about myself. So I've decided that I need to change the things that bother me so much. There are 3 main things that bother me. One of them is my asymmetrical lower jaw. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's that noticeable, but...

On one side, my teeth meet almost perfectly, but on the other, the jaw comes forward and down a little bit. When I smile naturally, the teeth on that side don't meet (gap of about 3mm from where the teeth should meet), but I can make them meet if I try, albeit with a slight underbite on that side (or is this called a cross-bite?).

I'm sure most people haven't noticed it on any conscious level. But I'm also sure that it has a subconscious effect on people's perception of me. No matter what my counsellor says, I just can't accept that my face fails on this fundamental measure of beauty, even if only by a few millimetres.

So I'm going to have the surgery. I'm unemployed (due to my condition - please don't just think I'm lazy) but I'm willing to rack up a load of debt if I need to. Of course, I'd rather have it done on the NHS but since it is just cosmetic, I won't hold my breath. Besides, I realise that I'd probably be waiting months, if not years, to have it done on the NHS and I've lived with it for long enough as it is.

So where do I go from here? Do I talk to my doctor? My dentist? How much will it cost? Could I save money by having it done abroad?

[prosman]

I don't know if many surgeons will be able to help. Please discuss further with your counsellor before you do anything rash.

[dandandan]

Thanks prosman, I thought this thread was dead.

I asked my dentist about it, and my doctor, and they both strongly recommended that I should avoid having surgery. I already knew about the pain and the long healing times and the cost, but they also said that the surgery could just make the jaw slant slightly in the opposite direction or even make the asymmetry WORSE. (!!!)

But if this is the case, then what can I do? I know it's only a little bit asymmetrical but it really, really bothers me. After a year of counselling, it still bothers me. But I don't want to work-up thousands of pounds of debt only to make my face more asymmetrical.

I know they usually cut the bone on both sides to re-set it, but because it's only a few mm, would they be able to get away with just cutting the bone on one side? Would this reduce the risk of it turning-out more asymmetrical?

[prosman]

i think you have unrealistic ideas of what is possible, you may end up a lot worse, the downside does not out weight the upside IMO